The Ones We've Been Waiting For

PS: it's us.

Mar 01, 2025

“There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that’s us.”- Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The world shifts, and we shift with it.

This week I have been thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer (mostly because of the death of actress Michelle Trachtenberg who played Dawn on the show- I feel such a tenderness toward her and am deeply sad about her passing). The show, for those who missed it, centers around a teenage girl, Buffy, who one day wakes up with super powers. She discovers that she is “the chosen one,” the slayer born once a generation to protect the world from the evil powers that be.

Buffy, like any of us would, spends the first few years of her new calling wishing more than anything it had never come to her, that she could just go back to being an average teenage girl. But she can’t unknow what she knows. She can’t unsee what she’s seen. And with that awakening, she develops a begrudging sense of responsibility.

Buffy didn’t wake up in a new world, she just became aware of the evil that had always existed as it became her responsibility to do something about it.

“They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.” ? Xander, “Potential”

For the past several (um 10?) years, I’ve felt a little like the characters in Buffy must have felt, not a superhero by any stretch, but suddenly so much more aware of the great amount of pain and suffering that surrounds us and my own responsibility to act against injustice. I found it hard to imagine how we were going to move forward. Who was I going to become in order to live in this world that I had never imagined living in?

The character I had been playing up until Trump’s election in 2016, the pandemic, and now Trump’s second election, has been frighteningly inadequate for the tasks at hand. I need to be stronger. I need to be braver and more bold. I need to develop new tools. Truth and love and compassion will always be in my toolbelt, but they are not always enough. Something in me needs to shift to meet this new world where it is.

When the world changes, we must change to meet it.

Choosing What Matters

This isn’t about discarding who we are. It’s about choosing how we move forward. One of the best ways I’ve found to navigate change is by grounding myself in values—by consciously choosing what will guide me, rather than letting the noise of culture or conditioning decide for me.

Every year, I reflect on the core values that shape me. In the past, Connection, Creativity, Openness, Curiosity, and Authenticity have been my guiding lights. While these are still key values for me, I’ve found the need to add courage, persistence, joy and rest to the mix.

In March, I always feel lost, so I like to take time this month to reassess—to notice which values feel lost in the shuffle, which ones are calling to be prioritized.

I’d love to invite you into this process with me.

A Values Reflection Exercise

Take a couple of deep breaths and focus on your heart. Breathe into that pulsing space in your chest and let it open to what it is feeling right now. In this moment. Does it ache? Anytime I really let myself focus on my heart, I realize that it is tender.

I want you to ask yourself one question to begin….What matters the most?

I would like you to:

grab a pen and some paper and jot down 5-10 values that really catch your eye. This list is great for ideas - but feel free to just brainstorm your own.
Once you have your list, take a look at it and see if any of the values are so similar that you could combine them into one word.
See if there are any in there that you chose because you thought you SHOULD choose them and go ahead and remove those.
See if you can get your list down to 4 or 5 words.

Now, I want you to take a couple of minutes to really sit with these words and what they mean for you right now. How are you living out these values? Which of them are aspirational? Are there any feelings that come up for you when you look at them? Any grief about this time we’re living in?

I encourage you to write a simple mission statement using these words—Mine might be something like:

I create and cultivate meaningful community connections, I stay true to my inner voice, and I remain open and curious toward those who are different from me. I will be courageous in my fight for justice, I will persist, and when I need to rest, I will rest.

A little musical meditation from Sweet Honey in the Rock and Batya Levine

Growing with Your Values

The final piece I have to say about values-centered living is that you need to be aware of creating an echo chamber where you don’t hear voices that disagree with you.

Choose to be accountable to people of color, to those who are marginalized. Follow organizations that you admire on social media, stay in community, call your representatives, make signs, write poems and make art, and make sure to have some joyful, raucous times. Our resistance depends on our continued ability to be well.

These are not static words, they are an ever-evolving map to a life filled with meaning. Our values shape how we meet the world—and how the world meets us in return.

I’d love to hear what comes up for you if you decide to try this exercise.