I've written so many things - two volumes of short stories, dozens of essays, poems, etc - and have always been so eager to share them with friends, scared to share them with family, and downright uptight about sharing them with strangers. It's as if I always want to play ball in front of the home team. With strangers, it was always the risk of criticism. With my family, it was being judged. My parents are gone now, and though I loved and miss them, it's been liberating to write about their passings, and then to become more "myself" in my writing, less concerned about who reads it or what they make of it. I'm not sure if the two are connected or not. I'm still working through what all of it means.
This is really helpful for me to think through right now. I’m having a really hard time differentiating when vulnerability is courage and when vulnerability is betraying myself. I’ve subjected myself to a lot of criticism in the last few months, and it’s hard to discern when you’re casting your pearls before swine, or when you’re, helping people connect to their deepest selves through your disclosures.
I am with you Viola. I tend to write lighter poems on Instagram. I write more vulnerable stuff here on Substack because there aren't many people who know me, or have the same history with me that family & long-time friends do.
I recently shared something personal on my cohousing community's email list...and before I hit send I had to check in with myself several times regarding "why would I ever do this?" The verdict is out, but I hope my opting to be real & transparent has an ultimate positive outcome. ✨️
Thank you for this. As a child who was teased and bullied, I’m finding it a long process of sharing myself in my writing. I do it, but always apologetically or with disclaimers, afraid of rejection. I want to let go of the qualifiers and jump fully into my quirky but also ever-changing self. The other day I thought “story! I can share myself in story!” (With a few reservations about long-form stories.) And now, after reading this, I’m thinking “of course! Poetry! I can share myself in poetry.” Which I already have done for basically my whole life, but it just usually comes out of me when it needs to, mostly writing itself. Harder to do when I try to call it out of me.
Thanks for the inspiration and for the kick in the butt. This is why we MUST share our stories. Because they give others permission to share theirs.
I love the idea of writing being like acting. You are so right, it really is! It’s me but all the different me’s. I knew that, but had never out the acting spin on it. Thank you. Because I sometimes feel a little cringey over certain poems. I don’t think I will anymore.
I'm a medium, rather than I minister. But I do share addresses with the congregation from.platform. They are inspired, so flow fairly readily, unlike my poetry and writing.
I find it difficult to write in a group, even an online group. My writing flows much more readily when I'm writing alone. This applies even when I'm on a course, as now.
I love this Alix. I too juggle this carefully. My readers include family members, therapy clients, colleagues, friends, and strangers. I write much more than I share, and I only share what I'm happy for all of these audiences to view. It's a careful dance, but worth it for the joy of creating and sharing 😊
Thank you so much for this Alix. I contemplate this daily. Ask myself am I a ‘real’ poet? (whatever that means). I’ve always written but since my mum passed away the poetry pours out of me, it’s painful and my truth. It’s been 10 years of this now (I also gave up my job as a teacher) and I think I’d like to share some of my poetry, maybe even publish a volume. There are themes that occur in my writing although they are mostly seen through the lens of pain. I feel that I owe it to myself, my words, to put some poems out there. Just not sure how to even begin.
Thank you for your thoughtful post, always apt, always honest 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing this (again). I am still finding myself as a writer. I wrote poems and songs mostly as a teen and LOTS of papers in school. As happens, life got in the way of my creativity, but I am striving to find it again.
I’ve always wanted to be an author of a novel, which is what I am trying to start. However, since this is the area in which I have the least practical experience, sitting down and doing the work has been challenging.
Loved the line about poetry being acting. I dreamed of being an actress when I was little - maybe I'm finding my way there in a roundabout way 💗 Lovely share, Alix.
I've written so many things - two volumes of short stories, dozens of essays, poems, etc - and have always been so eager to share them with friends, scared to share them with family, and downright uptight about sharing them with strangers. It's as if I always want to play ball in front of the home team. With strangers, it was always the risk of criticism. With my family, it was being judged. My parents are gone now, and though I loved and miss them, it's been liberating to write about their passings, and then to become more "myself" in my writing, less concerned about who reads it or what they make of it. I'm not sure if the two are connected or not. I'm still working through what all of it means.
This is really helpful for me to think through right now. I’m having a really hard time differentiating when vulnerability is courage and when vulnerability is betraying myself. I’ve subjected myself to a lot of criticism in the last few months, and it’s hard to discern when you’re casting your pearls before swine, or when you’re, helping people connect to their deepest selves through your disclosures.
It is so hard, huh! Glad this is somewhat helpful, I know everyone’s experience is so unique
I am with you Viola. I tend to write lighter poems on Instagram. I write more vulnerable stuff here on Substack because there aren't many people who know me, or have the same history with me that family & long-time friends do.
I recently shared something personal on my cohousing community's email list...and before I hit send I had to check in with myself several times regarding "why would I ever do this?" The verdict is out, but I hope my opting to be real & transparent has an ultimate positive outcome. ✨️
Thank you for this. As a child who was teased and bullied, I’m finding it a long process of sharing myself in my writing. I do it, but always apologetically or with disclaimers, afraid of rejection. I want to let go of the qualifiers and jump fully into my quirky but also ever-changing self. The other day I thought “story! I can share myself in story!” (With a few reservations about long-form stories.) And now, after reading this, I’m thinking “of course! Poetry! I can share myself in poetry.” Which I already have done for basically my whole life, but it just usually comes out of me when it needs to, mostly writing itself. Harder to do when I try to call it out of me.
Thanks for the inspiration and for the kick in the butt. This is why we MUST share our stories. Because they give others permission to share theirs.
I love this so much. I would love to see what you share!
I love the idea of writing being like acting. You are so right, it really is! It’s me but all the different me’s. I knew that, but had never out the acting spin on it. Thank you. Because I sometimes feel a little cringey over certain poems. I don’t think I will anymore.
Yay! Yes, it’s a great perspective shift for those poems that can feel a bit hard to accept emotionally
I'm a medium, rather than I minister. But I do share addresses with the congregation from.platform. They are inspired, so flow fairly readily, unlike my poetry and writing.
I find it difficult to write in a group, even an online group. My writing flows much more readily when I'm writing alone. This applies even when I'm on a course, as now.
Hi Gillian, I have the same experience often with writing in a group. I find I most often need a quiet space and solitude to write.
That's interesting. Glad I shared it,
Thank you for this piece! This topic has been rattling around in my mind as I work on my initial substack posts.
Yay! I just subscribed - can’t wait to see what comes of it :)
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anaïs Nin
As you've said, for it to have meaning and resonance to others is the greatest mystery to me. The best best part.
I love this Alix. I too juggle this carefully. My readers include family members, therapy clients, colleagues, friends, and strangers. I write much more than I share, and I only share what I'm happy for all of these audiences to view. It's a careful dance, but worth it for the joy of creating and sharing 😊
This was perfectly timed for me. Thank you. I’m new to writing online, and I posted my concerns on this very topic earlier today!
I love it when that happens - so glad you found something helpful in here ❤️
Thank you so much for this Alix. I contemplate this daily. Ask myself am I a ‘real’ poet? (whatever that means). I’ve always written but since my mum passed away the poetry pours out of me, it’s painful and my truth. It’s been 10 years of this now (I also gave up my job as a teacher) and I think I’d like to share some of my poetry, maybe even publish a volume. There are themes that occur in my writing although they are mostly seen through the lens of pain. I feel that I owe it to myself, my words, to put some poems out there. Just not sure how to even begin.
Thank you for your thoughtful post, always apt, always honest 🙏🏼
Thanks Keely - I’m so glad you’re writing
Thank you for sharing this (again). I am still finding myself as a writer. I wrote poems and songs mostly as a teen and LOTS of papers in school. As happens, life got in the way of my creativity, but I am striving to find it again.
I’ve always wanted to be an author of a novel, which is what I am trying to start. However, since this is the area in which I have the least practical experience, sitting down and doing the work has been challenging.
"Every poem has a narrator, who is not my full self, but rather an aspect of who I am"
This is incredibly insightful and explains why I can love something I've written one day, hate it the next, and resonate with it again later.
You are totally brilliant! Thanks for sharing your work!
Thanks for reading it, Tasha!!
Loved the line about poetry being acting. I dreamed of being an actress when I was little - maybe I'm finding my way there in a roundabout way 💗 Lovely share, Alix.
Me tooooo
Needed this, thank you!
Oh good! ❤️❤️
This was a really helpful read thank you from a new writer and lover of sober life! 💕
Oh yay! I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🥰